Dealing with Relationships

Dr. Simrat Kaur    15-09-2016 Consult

Remember the first time you fell in love? How the wind changed its direction and all you could sense was spring in the air, smell the freshly cut grass and felt like flying your way everywhere? It was the best feeling ever, wasn't it? But, sometimes due to a lot of misunderstandings, work stress or many other reasons the same air turns into winter! This article explains your stressful journey and gives tips to maintain a Happy,  Healthy and a Long- lasting relationships!

Relationships- A Two Way Street!
The care, affection and love that you received while growing up tends to mold your brain in a certain way about expectations of love. Research shows, if your caretaker was affectionate and considerate  then you have a very different idea of love from a person who has been bought up by a caretaker who was confused, irritated or miserable! 
Most relationship advice comes from the observation of people are or have been involved in relationships. They tip off the inexperienced by advising them to fight fair, avoid taking out their problems on their partner and to be prepared for all the ups and downs! Though it is a good advice, but it is far away from taking into consideration the negative early life experiences that molds many people's view of love and relationships! In order to change this view, you need to understand why the experience of feeling loved is so important to your brain and nervous system as well as your heart.

Understanding Love:
Did you know that feeling loved is nature's antidote to stress? There is no quicker or more effective way to feel relaxed, happy and stress-free than a  positive face-to-face communication with someone that makes us feel understood, safe, and valued.

Tips for a Long Lasting Healthy Relationships!:
  1.  Stay Focused- This is a primary key to a happy relationship! You need to stay focused and be willing to invest time and energy in your relationship, balancing your endless work, career, parenting crises at the same time! Failure to invest in the ones we love results not only in the loss of pleasure but also lost opportunities for health and overall well-being.
  2. Bridge the Communication Gap- You need to communicate to your partner your thoughts and feelings from time to time and override the assumption road! Emotional Communication is often known as the language of love. This also creates transparency between you and your partner and kick off the misunderstandings cooking in each other's brain! So, always tell them about your need and don't make them guess.
  3. Connect the Dots- Make sure that you find something in common between you and your partner and always remember to enrich your relationship experience by engaging in some outdoor activities! Unnecessary expectations also tend to unbalance the bond that you share. Bringing positive energy from family, friends, and outside interests into a relationship can stimulate your relationship.
  4. The Physical Touch- Our brain works in mysterious ways, many studies on infants have shown the impact of a touch on brain development! Affectionate touch actually boosts the body's level of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment. Regular, affectionate touch, holding hands, hugging, occasional intercourse (in case of an adult relationship) or kissing is important for a healthy relationship!

But sometimes, relationships take a highway! And, nothing you do seems to work in the favor of your relationship and it starts affecting your health, mind and work! A term which has been coined to describe this condition is called 'Relationship Depression.'

Deal with the Relationship Depression:
  1. Talk it Out: In order to deal with the growing resentment in a relationship, you should always communicate your feelings to your partner and should always leave room for them to express. Always remember to maintain your tone during the conversation without aiming to arrive at a solution there and then. Talking things out matters as you get to convey the reason behind your depression to the other intrinsic part of the relationship and vice- versa.
  2. Counseling Sessions: If the problems between you and your partner persists even after talking about it and continues to mar your mental peace, then instead of obsessing over it, it is always advisable to see a counselor, who work out different emotion building exercises for you!
  3. Spend Quality Time: If you have been facing relationship problems for quite some time now and find it difficult to feel happy or to let go off your partner, you probably should start afresh. Take out time to go on dates with your loved one or try to make great memories with each other.

Above all, always try to put yourself in your partner's shoes before making a judgment call. Always remember to keep falling in love with the idea of Love all over again and continue to enjoy the Spring